But since my LOVE (who I will marry in T-30 days!) is a big fan of diamonds, I made sure I gave her a ring with enough bling to make her happy.

I love that she’s happy. But the bling just doesn’t do anything for me.

Since we’re on the subject, I could do without the pomp and circumstance of the wedding itself. Something about splurging on a grandiose ceremony in front of hundreds of “friends” and “family” (WHY must we invite that aunt who I’ve never even met?!), only to sacrifice on things that we could actually appreciate well into the future (like a bigger home) and that our family will need in the future (education for our kids) is not my idea of a good time. It’s also not my idea of a smart time or, for that matter, a very romantic time.

Before you label me a cynical, cheap a** hole, consider this.

“On race, the folk wisdom turns out to be true. An African American family with the same income, family size, and other demographics as a white family will spend about 25 percent more of its income on jewelry, cars, personal care, and apparel. For the average black family, making about $40,000 a year, that amounts to $1,900 more a year than for a comparable white family.”

Add to that that 50% of marriages end in divorce, and one of the two major issues couples fight over is money. I’d rather spend  our money on the things needed to have a long and happy life together than on jewlery, cars, and consumer addiction  in all its other forms.

So, I understand that a ring is meant to symbolize love, and I’ve accepted the fact that no expense will be spared on my upcoming wedding. But I think we – and many other black couples – would do well in the future not to confuse material possessions with emotional wealth

My motto going forward: More Love, Less Bling.