Is Facebook the demise of healthy relationships or a necessary evil?
friendly stalking
We all have friends (maybe even yourself) who have been guilty of facebook stalking someone who you just started dating or have been dating for a while. Friending someone you are dating starts off as a seemingly cute and innocent way to get things rolling. You are opening a new channel of communication and providing an outlet for someone to get to know a little bit more about you. And hey, who doesn’t like the occasional poke now and then – which what does poking someone even mean? However, it never fails, at some point, things always seem to turn bad and you become “that person” who is reading every single facebook post and photo comment over the past two years, questioning why is the guy I am dating friends with this stripper-like woman named “Mercedes”. Then you start wondering how does he even know her? Did he date her? What kind of man am I dealing with? Next thing you know, it is 2am and you have checked out each of his 425 FB friends, determined which friends you have as mutual friends and figured out the chronological order of his past girlfriends.
At the end of the day, what have you really achieved? Facebook has left you with even more questions about a person than you had to begin with!
All the while you are having to remember and pretend to be surprised when information is actually revealed to you by the person, since there would be no logical explanation for your knowing certain things other than the fact that you have turned into this obsessive-compulsive facebook stalker.
What ever happened to getting to know someone the old-fashioned way through conversations and dating? Why do we feel the need to dissect every morsel of cyberspace information about someone? Granted, I figured out that my ex had been cheating on me based on my own facebook investigations. So, is it naive to think that a little light facebook stalking isn’t warranted from time to time?
At any rate, there is no disputing that facebook has changed the realm and dynamics of dating and relationships. But, is it a healthy, much needed change or the demise of the natural order of dating progression?
This entry was posted on January 21, 2010, 1:45 am and is filed under Relationships. You can follow any responses to this entry through RSS 2.0.
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#1 by JustinCase on January 21, 2010 - 5:59 am
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Nope. Insecurity is the most prevalent demise of healthy relationships. Diversions like FB just helps people bring their own to the forefront.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Cy94-MgpVE
#2 by Larry on January 21, 2010 - 4:50 pm
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The rules of stalking do not change just because it’s cyber stalking. It’s like the old adage: be careful what you look for because you just might find it. A girl has no right to go through a guy’s phone and then question him on what he finds. The same applies to facebook. While she can search his facebook page she shouldn’t jump to reckless conclusions. Be glad you have a man and appreciate him. Give hime a back rub, wash him, and cater to your man. Treat him like a king and don’t worry about what Mercedes is doing on his FB page. Mercedes ain’t in that bedroom with you girl. So stop tripping and start strippin–just playing. But seriously FB stalking is all good but leave it at that. Trust guys don’t like to be interrogated. Not a good look.
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#3 by Jeff on January 22, 2010 - 10:51 am
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Facebook itself isn’t the cause of relationships going down the tubes, but often times it doesn’t help.
I am on FB and after seeing how relationships can blow up as a result of insecurity first hand, and as a result I elected to no longer post my relationship status at all unless I was about to be engaged or get married. Until then, that is strictly between myself and my significant other. Those who are closes to me and truly friends already know.
It’s a personal choice and to be honest, posting your relationship status doesn’t really do much except put more of your business out there because if or when your relationship ends, it suddenly becomes knowledge for everyone on your respective friend’s list.
I also don’t deal with those who would try to say that by not posting your relationship status you are hiding something. This isn’t necessarily true. I am just a private person and find that involving potentially hundreds of other people in the relationship makes for the potential of increased drama… especially if the significant other in question is a tad insecure like my ex was. I mean questioning me about pics of me dancing or posing with female friends who I’ve known since college and live 3000 miles away with either kids or their own relationships with men that are also friends? As Larry said earlier… “Not a good look”
#4 by find a friend on January 23, 2010 - 7:28 am
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I agree it is okay to look at one’s page but you shouldn’t go jumping to conclusions from that. Some folks are always looking for ways to break up a relationship.