Why Women Continue to Miss Out…With Their Rules
1st date
So recently my home girl from grad school was in town and since it was an 85 degree day in January and she was coming from the east coast, we headed to Gladstone’s in Malibu for brunch, good convo, good food, and good sites. Despite the bumper to bumper traffic on PCH, the meal at Gladstone’s and the view of the ocean from Malibu was definitely worth the wait. All in all, there were 5 of us: my bro and 2 of her female friends. After exchanging pleasantries, welcoming them to the left coast, and catching up on what everyone was doing, we of course started discussing relationships. Not knowing if it was because we swapped stories of who got engaged over the holidays or just because we are of the age now where it becomes topic du jour once you get the sexes together, everything having to do with dating, love, and sex was on the table. Sorry…there’s no transcript available but let me just say that my brother and I nearly fell out of our chairs when the ladies told us that it’s damn near a requirement for them to be taken out to dinner on the 1st date. Yes, they were like dinner is a must if a guy has any shot of going forward. My brother and I were floored because here were 3 very attractive women basically saying that if the dude is not talking about a meal (and no Maccy D’s does not count) he can forget it. It’s no wonder they are single or haven’t found that special one. While we have no problems with taking a lady out to dinner on the 2nd, 3rd, or 4th date, dinner is wishful thinking for the first date. My bro who is married even suggested that coffee, a walk, or drinks should be the norm for the 1st date. The girls were like n*&^@ please….we don’t even respond to text or bbms talking about let’s grab drinks for the 1st date. They were like we women go through a lot to look good, including getting a fit, “our hair did,” etc., so we expect to be taken out to eat. While we could appreciate this we were also like it’s clear that if other women share these same views, it’s no question why so many of them are still single or perhaps not giving guys a chance based on this 1st date dinner rule. I mean don’t get me wrong if you just have to be wined and dined on the 1st date…go head on…but I can tell you I won’t be the one sitting there when the waiter asks and what will you be having….. And trust me, most of my single and sought after bachelor friends won’t be there either. LOL. Ladies, it has nothing to do with you but just think about it—if a guy invited every girl he met to dinner just so he could discern if she’s his type or if she is someone he wants to spend more time with…fellas would be flat out broke. So take it from me as I only want to see you find that special someone, please table that 1st date dinner rule. Yeah I can only imagine the obstinate ones still refusing to change, well happy fine dining in 2010…in the mean time all my single available guy friends will be at Starbucks or the bar.
Ladies–what say you?
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#1 by Miss Skeptical on January 10, 2010 - 11:44 pm
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Baron, boo, I hate to be on your side, as I am pro-woman and always looking to support my ladies. However, your friends are a little unreasonable. I agree with the underlying premise that a man has to put some thought and effort into the first date so as not to waste our time, but this can come in many forms other than dinner. I like your Jill Scott-esque walk in the park idea. A cute picnic and walk on the beach wouldn’t put you in the poor house; rather, it will score you some inexpensive creativity points.
#2 by RichBrand on January 11, 2010 - 9:58 am
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The key with a first date is to not set it up as such. Part of my style is to take women out for dinner, whether it’s a date or not, and pay for the meal of course. Even if it’s a friend I’m not interested in, I consider myself responsible for showing a certain level of provision for the women in my life, whether I date them or not (plus, she will talk you up to her girls). However, if you tell women it’s a date, then their expectations change as a result, even if you have interest in them. By not making it a date, it encourages the women to be more of themselves, and take the pressure off the man to feel that he needs to impress you, and he can be more of himself.
And let’s be real: in this economy, I would rather pay my electric bill than have to use my first date at Grand Luxe on a chick I don’t know. But if we do Signature Room, then you know I’m thinking of going all in, but NEITHER is a first date spot.
#3 by JustinCase on January 12, 2010 - 7:18 pm
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You gotta love women who live by ridiculous rules, cause it makes it that much easier to figure out who to leave the hell alone. What if guys had a rule that stated: the first date must consist of her cooking dinner? We know what…there would be many many more dateless or malnourished singles out there.
The longer they adhere to that “rule”, the longer they can expect to order carryout/delivery for one.
#4 by JustinCase on January 12, 2010 - 7:20 pm
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You gotta love women who live by ridiculous rules, cause it makes it that much easier to figure out who to leave the hell alone. What if guys had a rule that stated: the first date must consist of her cooking dinner? We know what…there would be many many more dateless or malnourished men out there.
The longer those women adhere to that “rule”, the longer they can expect to order carryout/delivery for one.
#5 by Carlos on January 13, 2010 - 1:13 pm
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I agree with RichBrand. The first “date” should be disguised. An outting or something that takes the pressure off both. I would feel more comfortable doing something free outdoors or a comedy show rather than paying for a dinner with a woman that I don’t even know.
#6 by Larry on January 13, 2010 - 1:18 pm
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Ladies take note–the fellas have spoken. We have put you up on game and have hopefully helped you out. See it’s not that hard to find a man, just get rid of your ridiculous rules like dinner on a first date.