I met a woman at work who is absolutely stunning; her boyfriend (also a coworker) however, is not.
If she is a 10 on the hot-o-meter, he is (on his best day) a 1.5. I’m talking, Forest/Keisha here.
Don’t stop reading here because you think I’m shallow. I promise I’m not. I admit that the fact that this is the first thing I noticed when I saw the two of them together is somewhat superficial, but I couldn’t help it.
I’d actually say I was somewhat proud of myself for not listing off all the reasons they could possibly be together:
- She’s a prostitute
- He’s a prostitute (and she is broke)
- He’s older, and therefore wiser, and therefore richer and therefore…
- He kidnapped her when she was young and he is all she knows
- At one point he was her boss and he forced her to date him for a few years to earn a promotion
- She’s with him because he’s a 1.5 and that makes her feel secure
As it turns out, this she’s hot and he’s not phenomena is not uncommon and does not necessarily work (meaning the relationship) both ways. In a study by the Journal of Family Psychology, researchers studied the role physical attractiveness plays in marital relationships.
Eharmony.com summarized the results of the study:
“Results showed that attractive wives were more likely to be supportive of their husbands, while attractive husbands were less likely to be supportive of their wives. This effect was increased when looking at relative attractiveness between each husband and wife pair. Specifically, when the wife was more attractive than the husband, both members of the couple showed more positive behaviors, but when husbands were more attractive than their wives, couples showed more negative social support behaviors.”
And, what may not be a surprise to many women, the authors of the study suggest that for men, attractiveness is a more important trait, and when they find an attractive mate, they are pleased and provide for a more positive environment.
So, it makes you wonder if all those less than attractive women running around with Denzels and Kobes, should be on their toes. Their men just may not be as satisfied as they should be, and they’ve got a whole lot more options out there…

#1 by DeniseL on November 19, 2009 - 10:31 am
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I would have to agree with the study. The couple you spoke about in the article – maybe the woman IS attracted to her boyfriend. What you find attractive and what she finds attractive could be different. I personally always dated guys who were NOT pretty boys. As a matter of fact, I ran when I would see one – just because of what the study talks about. I find that really good looking guys are too much into themselves. I never wanted to date a guy who may take longer to get ready than me. That’s just ridiculous to me but it may be what the next woman likes. What I find attractive in a man may be different than what you find attractive. My friends always would make fun of me because I like skinny, baby face, men who don’t wear jewelry or tattoos (very conservative). What I’m trying to say is…what works for you or the next woman may not work for me or someone else.