Cornering Cupid

Alright ladies last week my girl, Diva X, provided the fellas with 5 tips to starting the relationship off right, well I’m putting it out there for all of you who are no longer bumpin’ Bey’s Single Ladies…here are 5 tips to keep your man happy and the relationship right…

1. Stroke Your Man’s Ego – That’s right it sounds so simple but it’s so important. The key to men is to understand the male psyche. Every man wants a cheerleader NOT a competitor! If he wants competition he can play ball with his boyz. No it’s not about you versus him, so stop trying to outdo your man and focus instead on your team-building skills. So instead of trying to be Shaq while he is Kobe…how bout’ you get under that rim and grab a couple of rebounds for your boy.
2. Keep It Right / Keep It Tight – You remember how hot & sexy you were when you first met, well take it back to Day 1. Trust men are visual and we like looking at PYTs as in pretty young thangs, so yes get out that gym membership and focus on dropping those lbs (as in pounds). (Disclaimer baby exception –We all understand women put on weight during pregnancy and it takes time to get the weight off, but please don’t let things slip after you drop that 1st kid). So yes get out that Kanye West workout tape and keep it right / keep it tight. You’ll find you will not only feel better, but you’ll be healthier and your man will be so appreciative he will make it up to you in ways you can only imagine.
3. Let Your Man Be a Man – I hate to break it to you but men are men…it’s in our nature / genetic makeup. What does this mean? Just because we sneak a glance at that girl on the beach or in the mall does not mean we love you any less. So stop trippin’ and rippin’ your man every time you catch him. You know what will freak your man out…encourage him to look. That’s right, it’s healthy for men to notice other women (I’m not saying he will act on it…but hey would you rather him looking at a guy or a girl. Exactly) Also, let your guy have guys’ night out with the fellas every now and then. Why? Because occasionally every guy needs a night out where he can grab beers with his boyz, watch the game, and talk ish. If you deny your man this, trust he won’t be a happy camper.
4. Be Somewhat Domestic – Let me guess…you all heard the saying…the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Well if you are still reading this and you do not even know how to turn on an oven…girlfriend what are you waiting for. This stuff is not rocket science. Every man loves to eat so if you weren’t blessed with your grandmother’s cooking skills…I’m sure there is still ample time to take a cooking class or ask his mom’s to put you on. Yes, imagine how many bonus points you would get for not only learning how to cook your man’s favorite dishes but you also get a chance to ingratiate (SAT word—sorry it’s late Sunday night) yourself to his moms. OMG #4 is like a bonus tip – I not only just told you how to win him over, but also how to get close to his moms. Most men are entirely loyal to their mothers so if you get her on your team and can keep her there…you are golden because mom dukes will go to bat for you when there is a hiccup in your relationship.
5. Stop Listening to Your Girls – This one is so self-explanatory but let me just say in the words of CNBC stock guru and money man Jim Cramer please repeat after me—your girls:…They Know Nothing…They Know Nothing…They Know Nothing. Many of your single-minded girls have ruined their own relationships…you ever stopped to wonder why are you taking relationship advice from a single girlfriend. Hmmm…

Okay Ladies I can’t believe I just dropped this knowledge on you for free. It’s almost a violation of the Man-Code, but I think I get a pass since I’m trying to help salvage your relationship. Now if you’re still in denial or questioning what I just wrote…there’s no help for you honey. You’re what we men put in the “can’t help pile.”