Got Milk?
My friend Nicole, not one to hold her tongue, basically was like, “guys stop trippin’…we read the book and yes Steve Harvey was right—women should wait 90 days for the cookie.” Let’s just say my boyz started laughing and the girls were like, “tell it….tell it, girl.” Being the host and somewhat wanting to get a good discussion going, I couldn’t resist by asking my boy Ant (who is not only very outspoken but tends to be quite the ladies man) to shed his male perspective on this cookie theory.
Ant, not one to shy down, basically was like, “look…you females can listen to Steve if you want to, but the reality is that guys are getting cookies, always have been, and always will be regardless of your self-proclaimed 90 day theory.” Ant was like, “just call me the Cookie Monster.” Half the ladies were like, “come on Ant…you’re crazy, we all know you make guys wait 90 days because they respect you more.” The other half were like, “we do what we have to do to play the roll.” As Sharon said, “we’re good girls as she winked her eye and then started high-fiving her girls in the room.” Ant was like, “that’s funny…dating a girl for 90 days without sex is like a milkless cow. Yeah, yeah….I know your milk will be there in 90 days but guess what…while you’re trying to leave us thirsty there are plenty of cows that need milking. So please excuse me…I’m off to the dairy farm.” And with that, he LITERALLY left. The ladies were dumbfounded. He sent me a text later, saying that he met a young thing at the bar, and, indeed, quenched his thirst.
The conversation went back and forth that night but a question Ant asked continued to linger in my mind: “so during those 90 days when I can’t be a cookie monster with you, is it okay for me to snatch a couple of crumbs from someone else’s jar?” Hmmm…ladies, what say you?
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#1 by Miss Skeptical on October 19, 2009 - 10:41 am
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Dearest Baron,
Let’s pretend you and I are dating, but not exclusively, and I’m making you wait. If you asked me that question, I’d say “Go right ahead. “In fact, you’re only proving Steve’s point. When you go ’round “snatching” crumbs from other ladies, you’re only using them to satisfy a current and fleeting need. You don’t value them because, if you did, you wouldn’t be worried about getting my cookie. You’d just stick with what you got.
Why do you choose to wait for my cookie — expending time and energy– even though you can pick up crumbs here or there? Because a REAL man, like you, can’t survive off of crumbs alone.
While you’re waiting for my cookie, you get to learn what wholesome, healthy and tasty ingredients go into my cookie recipe. You’ll appreciate the long, hard work that goes into making me who I am. You’ll know that only someone with a worthy palate deserves a full serving of what I’ve got.
Plus, you’ll know not too many other hands have reached into my jar. Don’t want to catch that H1N1
So have fun!
#2 by Baron on October 19, 2009 - 10:54 am
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Miss Skeptical,
Thanks….clearly you must have those “premium” cookies..they must call you sunshine.
I appreciate your perspective and the insight you shared…I must admit you left a brother yearning for more…or maybe it’s just those healthy and tasty ingredients you mentioned.
I think you’re right, though, no guy wants to catch H1N1…but to my boy Ant’s point: what happens if he actually develops a liking for one of those crumbs.
#3 by Miss Skeptical on October 19, 2009 - 11:04 am
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Yeah…and what happens IF he doesn’t?
I’ll tell you…You’ll be one more notch on his bedpost. One of many.
IF the only way I can get him to like me is to give up the cookie, then I have some thinking to do.
IF I let a guy taste the cookie because he posed that question, then I deserve nothing more than a tryst with you’re boy, Ant (no offense).
P.S. Thank you
#4 by Cookie Bandit on October 19, 2009 - 12:34 pm
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Miss Skeptical you make some very good points.
However, if you are openly dating a guy and he is snatching up some crumbs on the side while he does his 90-day bid, what is the harm in that? It is not exclusive and thus those young ladies looking for a tryst are fair game.
Should he stick around long enough to sample your ingredients then great. I have two questions, first of all, where does this arbitrary number come from?? Is three months the measuring cup for a man’s worthiness? Does that three months include daily calls, once a week visits or more frequent interactions? There are a lot of variables that can make one “3 month” relationship much different than the next.
Secondly, what if you have invested these 90 days and the cookie is not all that? Now I have spent all this time and effort in fighting off my cookie cravings and am left not satisfied. Just cause you waited 90 days and we are cool that doesn’t mean that now I don’t go crumb snatching elsewhere to get some quality cookies.
Cookie Bandit
#5 by Miss Skeptical on October 19, 2009 - 12:49 pm
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Cookie Bandit,
Good point. That’s why I say go right ahead and get the crumbs you are looking for. I, however, value my cookie enough to only give it to men who I feel are worthy. That’s just me.
You are also right in that the 90 days is pretty arbitrary. I think the point is to hold yourself and the men you’re interested in to a higher standard. If he reaches that standard before 90 days, good. If it takes more than 90 days, that’s cool too.
I’m just sayin’ to my ladies, if you’re in it for exactly what he’s in it for, go on with ya bad self. But, don’t be surprised if/when he doesn’t stick around.
#6 by JustinCase on October 19, 2009 - 7:35 pm
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Hmmmm…all this talk of cookies and crumbs has got me thinking bout those butter crunch joints from middle school back in the day, but i digress.
Yeah, i think Miss Skeptical hit the nail on the head. The arbitrary timing isn’t the point – taking time to review who you potentially could be washing down with milk is – however long it takes is relative. Some crumb snatchers get to open the jar after a few hours, some a few days, some a few months. We never know how long it takes for that vibe to kick in. But, I don’t know any dude that would ask permission of a woman he’s “talking to” to go peruse some other cookie jars in the meantime. That’s a stupid action in any case. She doesn’t owe you her cookie and you don’t owe her a request to sample Lorna’s Doones.
Do you until she feels that you both can do each other. It may turn out that while you’re learning about each other, you discover you really don’t care about sampling her cookie at all. Timing is everything and sometimes, that’s just how the cookie crumbles.