Okay some folks laughed when Kanye belted out…Now I ain’t sayin’ she a gold digger…But she ain’t messin’ with no broke n*&%$@$
We Want Pre-Nup…We Want Pre-Nup, Yeah.
Well this week’s blog is about that touchy but relevant subject of pre-nups.
In case you’ve missed it, Lamar Odom & Khloe Khardashian recently took their turn strolling down the aisle. While these two are obviously in love with each other, that still did not stop Lamar from hiring a high-powered Beverly Hills lawyer to get that iron-clad pre-nup in order before signing those marriage documents. Why? Well, this summer Lamar inked a four year deal worth a reported $33 million with the Lakers. No small change and obviously God forbid this marriage is dissolved, Lamar plans on taking with him every last penny he brought into the marriage. Is this brother wrong for doing this? I mean marriage is a union between man and woman. What yours is mine and what’s mine is yours. Right?
I’ve broached this subject with the fellas…and I have to tell you the ones that have already built up a sizeable nest egg see no qualms about asking wifey to sign that pre-nup. In fact, they already have those papers drawn…(LOL). And of course some of my high rollin’ female friends are planning on doing the same thing with Pookey and Leroy….
So I guess I’m wondering…have pre-nups become the new standard when one person in the relationship is better off financially. I know if someone asked me to sign a pre-nup, I’d be offended. Don’t we love each other…why must we be bothered with such legal nuances… As Black Eyed Peas once sang…Where is the Love?
So what do you think? Do you see anything wrong with having your significant other sign those papers…or are you already belting out We Want Pre-Nup…We Want Pre-Nup, Yeah…Cuz She Ain’t Messin With No Broke Ni#$%!.
Loading ...
#1 by Jeff on October 12, 2009 - 1:14 pm
Quote
I don’t personally see anything wrong with a pre-nup in the slightest.
I’ve heard some folks say that it is a “bad omen on the marriage” when this couldn’t be further from the truth.
If two people are genuinely entering the marriage out of a sense of genuine love for one another instead of what they have, then what is the issue?
Personally, if I married a woman who was doing very well for herself financially and pulled a considerable salary, I’d welcome the idea of getting a pre-nup if for no other reason to reassure her of what my reasons for entering the marriage were.
The fact is, she would have earned whatever she had prior to being married and (as a matter of principle) is the only one entitled to it.
I would be highly suspicious of a woman who got bent out of shape over the idea of us getting a pre-nup only because it would make me question her motives. If she was really in it to be with me and not because of what I might bring to the table financially, then that should not even be an issue.
It isn’t a matter of saying that a person expects things to go wrong in a marriage as much as it is a contingency plan in the unfortunate event that things might go awry.
In simpler terms, if you weren’t the one who earned the things that one partner entered the marriage with, then you are not entitled to it just because things might not have worked out.
Just my thoughts…
#2 by Problem Solver on October 12, 2009 - 1:55 pm
Quote
Good question. Although I voted that it is ok to ask for pre-nup, I honestly have never thought about for myself (as a single man who one day will be married).
#3 by JustinCase on October 12, 2009 - 3:52 pm
Quote
Hmmm…I’ll use your own words to answer this one. “Don’t we love each other…why must we be bothered with such legal nuances…”
A marriage license is a legal document too. I mean, if love is all we need, why bother with signing one of those either?
#4 by Baron on October 12, 2009 - 4:17 pm
Quote
Justin,
Touche…touche…..my friend. So I take it you want pre-nup? or are you just for shacking up?
Again is this what our society has come to….the need to make clear that you are leaving with what you came with. Almost presuposes that this marriage is not going to last so don’t get your hopes up.
#5 by Aquarius on October 12, 2009 - 4:27 pm
Quote
Pre-nups are more about protection than trust. Other societal examples are the various forms of insurances and any basic addendum to a contract… you know, just in case or if this condition applies than…. Of course you trust a person if you are willing to enter into a legally and spiritually (dependant upon faith basis) binding “life-long comittment” (unfortunately, I have to use this term losely these days). However, if something tragic, unfortunate, unforseen, horrible, etc… happens, one should mitigate his/her losses. Another thing is pre-nups can cover more than just the finances of the more well off of the two. In addition, pre-nups should include protection for both individuals involved. So… if you mess up, pay the price for your decision. Bottom line is – if you stay together you don’t have to worry about the conditions of the pre-nup so think of it more as a reason to stay together.
#6 by Baron on October 12, 2009 - 4:35 pm
Quote
Baron,
Ahh….Aquarius……very interesting perspective here in terms of pre-nups are more about protection than trust.
#7 by Aisha on October 12, 2009 - 7:07 pm
Quote
I have mixed feelings. I think that if the parties entering into the marriage are both financially well off, then yes get the prenup. But what if your partner is less financially well off than you are and gets accustomed to living a certain lifestyle while married for a number of years, I would say five to be safe. I think it’s fair once the marriage has dissolved to allow that person to live comfortable after divorce, not lavish just comfortable, if you could afford it.
#8 by JustinCase on October 12, 2009 - 10:13 pm
Quote
@ Baron:
Hell yeah bruh, i’m all for a prenup if i get married. I don’t know the statistics, but i’ve read that a large percentage of divorces are caused starting from money issues. If prenups were as common and necessary as marriage licenses, it would negate motive for marrying for financial gain AND it would erase some fear alot have of risking financial ruin to put a ring on it (still gotta find the $$$ for the ring and wedding).
Imagine that…a world where people can have piece of mind that they can ensure that they won’t be worse off than the day before they said “I do” if things don’t work out. Might make for a lot less bitter divorcees out there.
Hell, I’m thinking about starting a trend of predate agreements so people can access if their potential BF/GF has any dealbreakers BEFORE the expensive date nights…we’re in a recession.
Sidenote: Look at Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn who chose to “shack up” for decades and never marry. They took the legality out of the equation and are still together, even as they didn’t legally notified Uncle Sam that they love each other and want to raise a family.
#9 by Charles on October 13, 2009 - 7:45 pm
Quote
Everyone should consult the laws of their state before getting married. In many, the default is what many people might attempt to do with a pre-nuptual agreement — that each person keeps the assets they brought to the marriage, while splitting the marital assets. More complication if there is co-mingling of funds, say, to buy as house. Most states also have minimum standards for what you have to leave your spouse upon death as well. Finally, depending on the state, if you co-habitate for long enough, you basically become married under the law.
#10 by JustinCase on October 17, 2009 - 11:58 am
Quote
if nothing else, you should bring up the word “prenup” just to see your significant other’s reaction…that alone probably will teach you a lot.
http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2009/10/17/2009-10-17_heat_on_chefs_ex.html
#11 by Donielle on October 19, 2009 - 12:31 pm
Quote
Everything is rosy when you are in love. But let’s be honest, nowadays most marriages end in divorce. While the end of a relationship is very painful, I think having a prenup can help to alleviate at least one painful tasks of figuring out your financial situation. I think of it like this, I have never been in an accident before, but I have car insurance just in case. So when I get married I am hoping that my marriage will last forever, but I will have a prenup just in case.